It’s no surprise that men and women are wired differently when it comes to relationships and marriage, but it’s not as different as we think. It’s not that men do NOT want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to marry someone just because they are a certain age, nor are worried what others will say.
Even in this day and age, most men feel it is their responsibility to provide for their family. It’s an emotional burden that they choose — not because they are forced to, but because they want to, and all they expect in return is support and encouragement.
Men are insecure, too. They are worried that they aren’t making it in life — not just in the work force but also at home. Most men have not been raised to be vulnerable, so sometimes what they need is some positive assertion that’s genuine and honest. All men want to feel appreciated.
A Harvard survey showed that married men are healthier than men who have never been married, divorced or a widower.
Their eyes will always wander, as visual temptation is their weakness, and how far they want to take that is their choice. But most men that I spoke to said they want to get married, and they will not settle until they find a woman who has that ONE thing.
All the men admitted that it takes more than just one quality, but if they had to pick just ONE thing that makes them want to marry, it’s…
1. She embraces my vulnerabilities.
“I knew I wanted to marry my girlfriend when she took the time to learn everything that makes me vulnerable, while giving me the greatest sense of security. I could trust her with all my emotions. That’s huge!” —Jason, 32
2. She’s my number one support system.
“I want to marry a girl who can make the relationship her priority, and want to be my primary support person.” —Damien, 26
3. She makes me genuinely happy — and others can tell.
“In case of my girlfriend, I would say that my family and friends tell me that I look a lot happier. Not that I wasn’t before, but there’s something extraordinary about this relationship that is clearly noticeable to those who know me well. She makes me happy.” —Leo, 35
4. She’s perfect wife/mother material.
“Being with her lets me know that she wants to have kids and that she would be a good mom.” —Paul, 29
5. She never gives up on us.
“Most women want to be with a man who is already established and financially stable. I want to marry a strong womanwho will be a part of my struggle, never gives up on us, and is a part of my life in the good as well as the bad times.” —Chase, 36
6. She had a good upbringing.
“Her upbringing is very important — the way her family raised her is a vital part of me wanting to marry her because it moulds her for life.” —Edward, 35
7. She’s into fitness.
“A woman in good shape and good health, so she can have healthy children with me. If I can see myself having kids with a woman, she’s the one I want to marry.” —James, 45
8. She cooks as well as my mother.
“Someone I could see myself being happy with in 50 years when we are old and gray with our oxygen tanks; the whole nine yards. Bonus if she can make corn bread as good as my mom.” —Victor, 39
9. She shares a spiritual connection with me.
“It’s hard to describe, but someone who completely understands me, a connection beyond words. Like, I know how she’s feeling when she’s not around. It’s when I hug her that I can feel our souls connecting.” —Taylor, 28
10. She’s passionate about our connection.
“When you are passionate for one another, and can go out in the world and do whatever life presents you with. Life is a dance, and so is love. Even more so, being able to tiptoe on the boundaries of reality with a partner in crime is a true sign of connectedness and unity. At that time, you do not just notice the essence of one another but become the essence together.” —Abel, 27
11. She supports my goals and ambitions.
“I’d like to marry a girl who is similar to me and supports me even if we have different goals. At the end of the day, knowing that we are there for each other is the most important thing.” —Fil, 25
12. She knows me better than I know myself.
“When we know the other person more than you know yourself, when the other person’s happiness outweighs your own. Someone to look out for and someone who looks out for you. A partnership that allows you to kick life in the balls together as a team. Resilience in the hard times that you can’t see in someone until it’s tested. But if you need just one thing: boobs.” —Amad, 28
13. She’s who I want to wake up to every morning.
“If I look forward to going to bed with her and waking next to her in the morning, that is when I know I want to marry her.” —Matt, 25.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.
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